nisa-pizza's blog

i just don't understand why........

 abuse

I don’t write many of these, in fact this is just my third entry since becoming a member.  I just felt compelled to put this out there today.  I’ve read a couple of blogs and comments today that saddened me and got me wondering why are we here in existence in the first place. We treat each other horribly and say hurtful things and intentionally try to start up divisive topics to goad a group into negative responses.  Then I came across one that was on the opposite end of the spectrum that was enlightening, uplifting and wonderful by Mocha sanani.  

http://www.wral.com/golo/blogpost/3146740/?start_from_id=3147401#__comment_3147401

I realize it’s just human nature to garner the “mob-rules” end of things and thrive on the dissent and resentment that comes with all of that, but it’s still very sad.  I’m no Pollyanna looking for gumdrops to fall from the skies at my feet, I’ve had a great deal of bad things happen to me and my family over the years but I’m just wondering what makes this cancerous malignancy take root and grow so quickly.  The negative blog I spoke of had over 30 responses, when before there were 0 responses only mere moments earlier.   Just like piranha the overwhelming negative responses sprang up. 

Why in the world do people choose to wallow in these dark thoughts and relish them so?  It’s so destructive to the soul and you can actually feel the weight of the effects that these unkind words and deeds inflict on you. The weight is so heavy that your pulse quickens and your blood pressure rises FROM the anger.  That is SAME EXACT THING that happens when you physically try to lift something heavy.  Odd isn’t it, that the emotional weight of hate and turmoil and physical weight have the same effect on your body?

Now, I literally live for the hugs of my nieces and nephews and their sweet little kisses. That feeling brings a smile to my face no matter what kind of mood I’m in. It’s like night and day,  if I’m sad and I think of them.  My grandmother who used to live with us was mentally ill and would get in these moods and trances sometimes and my niece who was a toddler at the time (she’s pictured above with her son Joshua) could instantly snap her out of one of her spells just by saying “great-grandma, I love you.” to her.  I sometime felt (in error) that she chose to go to those dark places and zone out and have to be committed before she hurt herself.  She actually died during one of her stays at the State Hospital.  Sad, scared and without her family. 

  I just know that when I CHOOSE to give a kind word if someone needs it,  help someone when they need it,  lend an ear when someone needs it,  give someone some food when they need it,  that  I feel elated when they smile or sometimes even cry because they were so desperate and couldn’t bring themselves to voice it.  I love that feeling.  I CHOOSE to be kind, say kind things and live a positive, uplifted life.  Then I can honestly say that I CHOSE TO LIVE.  Try it sometime.  It’s addictive. 

HAPPY FOURTH EVERYONE!!!!